You be you

It’s hard to be yourself. Just yourself.

Sometimes I do pretty well being myself. I know who I am and I walk around being that person. Then, unfortunately, I get sidetracked. I walk around trying to be myself… and everyone else… at the same time.

It’s super tiring. And confusing. And irritating. For me and for everyone around me.

It seems particularly hard lately as we all peek into each other’s lives through our Instagram feeds. Wow, I think. She’s really doing this quarantine thing well. She’s cleaning out her closets. She’s making Easter crafts with her kids. He’s got a new workout plan. I should be doing that. And that. And that.

But then I would be trying to be her. Or trying to be him. Not being myself.

I’ve learned this lesson before. (I’ve been a mom for 25 years, how could I not?) The temptation to be somebody we’re not isn’t a new thing. This particular temptation has been around since the garden at the beginning of time. Since that fateful moment when our mother Eve listened to the serpent’s lies, women have been tempted to try to be someone we’re not. We try to reach out and be it all, actually fooling ourselves into thinking we can be like God in that way.

When I try to be everyone and everything, I lose something unique and important: me.

 

Each of us carries within us a unique expression of our infinite creator. We are finite; we cannot reflect all that He is. But we can show off our unique angle of his reflection. Hopefully my unique expression of God’s character will encourage you and help you know Him better. And yours will do the same for me.

If we try to be each other, we’re just looking at each other. (And possibly obsessing over each other.) But if we each reflect God as we are uniquely made to do, we lift each other’s heads and point to God.

So let her make her Easter crafts and let him start that new workout plan. You go plant your seedlings. Or read your book. Or rearrange your living room. Or create that recipe you’ve been thinking about. You be you. Do the unique things God has created you to do. You will be happier and so will everyone around you.

So go be yourself. Just yourself. And you will give the world a beautiful glimpse of the character of God.

Called to do? Or called to be?

John and I have spent many years helping people discover their calling– the unique way God has designed them and the unique works he has called them to do. (In fact, John has launched a nonprofit ministry just for this purpose.)

It’s usually about this time of year that we sit down and preach the message to ourselves. We remind ourselves of our personal calling statements that we have lived out the hard way, massaged and tweaked over time. And then we ask ourselves, which sections of our lives sync with our calling? Which sections need to be changed, improved, or even overhauled?

John led me through this process a couple of weeks ago (he’s really good by the way) and I realized something significant: I have allowed my emphasis on calling to focus on the “doing.” What is God calling me to do? (And believe me, I’ve been doing the doing.) Sadly, I have been doing so much doing, I have almost completely forgotten about being.

When I wrote about calling awhile back, I separated the call God has placed on our lives into a primary and secondary calling. The primary is about being and the secondary is about doing. Somehow along the way I’ve neglected the primary for the secondary. (Not surprising for an American do-er.)

Our primary calling is concerned with our identity. Who are we called to be? Before we even get out of bed in the morning to do anything, we are called to be. Be loved. Be known. Be accepted. Be a child. Rest in what has already been done.

This being is a gift that God gives all his kids. Don’t forget to enjoy it. In fact, I would say, don’t attempt the “doing” until you have enjoyed the “being.” If we believe the gospel, our “doing” must flow out of our “being.” If we attempt to do before we rest and enjoy being a child of God, then we will end up like I was a couple of weeks ago: ti-red and ready to q-u-i-t. Everything.

So how do we go about being? For me, being means preaching the gospel to myself every day. Reminding myself of who I am: a dearly loved child. Not because of what I do, but because of what Jesus has already done. Resting. Taking the time to journal, exercise, dance, talk with God, listen to music, color, read, or write. Those all have to do with being for me.

So, called to do or called to be? Yes. Both. But in 2019 I plan to realign focus on my primary calling of being. I’d love to hear how you live out your primary calling. What do you do to rest and remind yourself of who you are?

To do… or already done?

When I have a few days off from work, my mind is full to the brim of all the tasks I could tackle around the house. Tasks that I usually don’t have time to prioritize with a full-time teaching job. Organize the playroom, purge the storage room, hang bulletin boards in the boys’ rooms, finish painting the basement… and so on and so on.

And with time off over the holidays the list grows even longer.  Wrap the presents, deliver the neighbor gifts, pack for our trip to Tennessee, try to read Christmas books with the boys and keep the traditions going… and so on and so on.

I had one day off this year between my last day at school and our travel day to see family. That morning, I could barely organize the deluge of thoughts within my head. Which of these tasks among the multitude should I choose? Which was worthy of my one day off??

God whispered a sweet thing to me that morning. It went something like this: rather than focus on the never ending to-do list, take a minute and focus on the things that have already been done. You bought the gifts. You put up the tree… and decorated it! (One year we put up the tree but never had time to decorate it, so let’s celebrate progress!) The laundry is done. (Thanks, John.) The semester is complete. A lot has been completed that I could rest in, and enjoy.

The obvious next step in my conversation with the Lord that morning led me to apply that concept to my spiritual life. So often my mind itches in the back with the “shoulds”: you should be getting up earlier, you should be reading your Bible more, you should be spending more time in quiet prayer. But again, the God of all grace whispered, “Leave off on the shoulds and to-do’s. Focus instead on what has already been done.” Christ’s death in my place. My future secured in heaven. Healing and redemption. So much is completed that I can rest in, and enjoy. In fact, nothing more has to be done at all.

That truth is best gift I received this Christmas. I can put aside the to-do list and rest in what has already been done. Amen to that.

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Free E-book!

It’s published! Discover Your Calling in 31 Days is now available as an E-book! The New Year is the perfect time to begin the adventure of discovering your calling. Head on over to www.peoplelaunching.com to download your free copy. Happy New Year!

 

God’s creativity

Have you ever felt a BLOCK when it comes to spending time in the Word? No desire to open it up or hear what God has to say through it? I have. More times than I’d like to admit.

It’s weird. I know that the scriptures are full of life and hope and all the good things I need. But sometimes I just don’t want it. I don’t read it. I actually resist spending time with God in his Word.

I’m sure there are many reasons for this resistance (spiritual oppression and flat-out sin being among them, but that’s a subject for another post). I’d rather focus today on 2 truths I’m super grateful for:

God pursues us.
And sometimes he gets creative.

Lately I’ve been experiencing that ugly resistance. And as I pass by my unopened Bible on my desk, I have silently asked God to help me. Change me. This morning he answered that prayer.

John graciously took 3 kids to 3 different schools this morning so I could have some extra time alone at home. I didn’t feel a desire to sit down and spend time in the Word but I knew I needed it. Badly. So I prayed that silent prayer again.

Two things immediately came to mind. My little book of postcards with pen and ink drawings on them (which I bought back in AUGUST because I thought I could benefit from coloring therapy and still have never cracked them open) and those new colored pencils I bought which my 6-year-old just spilled all over the bedroom floor.

Huh. OK.

I gathered those neglected things and sat down at my dining room table, poured some tea, and opened the back door. Then something else came to mind. Get your new tablet and download an audio Bible.

Huh. OK.

So for the next half hour I listened to Acts 13 several times in a row and colored tree trunks. Verse 42 grabbed me. After some people heard the gospel for the first time, they begged that they might hear more the following week. Begged!

So as I colored tree leaves, I repented that on most mornings, my heart does not beg for the gospel. And I felt God’s presence. And his grace.

God pursues us. He knows our fickle hearts and how lost we would be without him. Because of his great love for us, he draws us to himself. And sometimes he gets creative. Some mornings it might take colored pencils and tree trunks, but be encouraged. He will do whatever it takes to draw your heart close to his own.

Money or ministry?

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Things have been a little quiet here at kitchenstool lately. After the holidays and too much traveling and too many cold and flu bugs, we are just emerging from our cave (like the groundhog only a month late) and sniffing out the atmosphere.

The sun is out (thank you, Jesus). I’m teaching again (thank you, Jesus). And I feel like writing again (thank you, Jesus)!

I’ve been teaching through my material on discovering your calling with some women in my church (click here to see the blog series) and some old truths are springing up new for me. Like what it means to think about life and time in a biblical way.

This week as I prepared to teach about spiritual gifts, I realized something key: I have become more concerned with money than ministry. (There. I said it.) I’m in a stage of life with preschoolers in the house again, so I am not “gainfully employed” on a regular basis. So that means money can be a little tight sometimes. Because of that, I can fall into the trap of thinking that any extra time I spend on something, that “something” ought to make money.

For example, this blog. I go back and forth on how I think about kitchenstool. Years ago I started it with a good motive, a biblical one, I think. I write mainly about discipleship and to encourage others in their faith and the gospel. So originally, this blog gave me a way to exercise my gifts (teaching, wisdom, etc.) to build up the body around me. I re-entered the stage of life where I need to be home a lot, meaning I have limited time to meet face-to-face with people or teach regularly. The blog became a way to exercise my gifts as I was able and share them online. And hopefully as people read, they would be encouraged and edified. Simple.

Well, then things got complicated. If you’ve participated in the world of writing or blogging, you might know that it’s a little complicated out here. Everyone wants to write a book. Or promote a book. Be published. Be famous. Have a popular blog or thousands of followers on Instagram. (And I’m positive this is not limited to the writing world.) So, subtly, my blog became a way to be “known” and to have people “like” what I write. My blog slowly shifted to becoming more about me than about the body of Christ. It became more about the possibility of making money rather than ministering to others. Blah.

So money has become a focus for me, a motivator. But it has squelched my creativity and even my desire to minister to others.

But what if…

…rather than thinking primarily about how I could make some extra money, I started thinking about how I could participate in the body of Christ?

… I began to focus on how I could use my unique spiritual gifts to build up the people around me?

… I started thinking about living out my calling (whether or not it makes any money) and trust God to provide for us financially?

… my focus was on ministry rather than money?

… my focus was on you rather than me??

I think it would change things. It already has. I’m writing today simply for the desire to encourage you and challenge you to think along with me. I hope you are :).

What motivates you? Does money get in the way of ministry for you?

Advent challenge

We’ve been feeling a little sluggish lately at our house, both physically and spiritually. We’ve been busy this fall and have settled into some not-so-healthy routines. (Can you relate?) We could wait for January and join the masses at the gym, but we’ve decided to go ahead and make a fresh start now.

To begin with, we exchanged presents with our big kids the day after Thanksgiving. We all got the same thing… brand new tennies 😀.

  
We also issued a challenge to each other: exercise in some way 6 days a week during the month of December. We gave a spiritual challenge as well: exercise spiritually by reading an advent devotional online. (Click here to check out the devotional we chose.) We plan to discuss it together when we get the chance throughout the month.

Advent begins today, the fourth Sunday before Christmas. As we think of Christ’s advent (or coming), it’s a good opportunity to prepare for it. Purge, simplify, focus. Those are not typical words for December, I know. We still plan to put up the tree and bake the cookies, but we’re going to keep things simple this year. We’re going to try to prepare our hearts for Jesus.

I can think of nothing else I want more for Christmas than for my family to grow spiritually together. I’m looking forward to Christmas not so much for the presents since we’ve already exchanged those, but for the conversation about what we learned and how we grew this month. I’ll let you know how it goes.

So after we trim the tree, let’s lace up our tennies and do things a little differently this year. Want to join us?

  

Give or receive?

During the holiday season, we talk a lot about giving. That “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). And, of course, I believe this is true. Giving to others can bless your socks off. And I agree, you are more blessed when you give than when you receive.

Until it comes to your time with God.

Regular, set-aside, daily time with God is more about receiving than giving. Receiving whatever he has for you that day.

Do you think that sounds selfish? Do you think you need to give to God more than you need to receive? I’m definitely more comfortable with that. Giving or “doing” can be easier than receiving. I’ve been a do-er from birth. (Can anyone relate?) I feel good when I get things done. Do my part. Fulfill my responsibility. Meet expectations (or exceed them). I “do” pretty well.

But when regular time with God becomes something “to do” things can get a little ugly. You might fool yourself, like I did, into thinking that you are earning something. That God needs something from you more than you need something from him.

When you acknowledge that God is the giver and you the receiver, you admit that you have needs. Big ones. That you aren’t perfect. That you stand in the same place every morning: in desperate need of God and what He has to give you.

And He has really good things to give you. A feast, really, every day.

He knows what you need. You just need to know that you need. Go to him every day to receive. You’ll be blessed, I promise.

31 Days of Fiction for Girls

October means it’s 31-days time again! Lots of authors and bloggers spend the month of October writing 31-day-long series about all sorts of interesting subjects (click here to see everyone’s topics). I’m writing a series called “31 Days of Fiction for Girls” on my other blog, His Girls Together. In this series, I am posting 31 suggestions of good books for girls of all ages to read and enjoy. (I am not posting every day in October because I’m also doing an endless stream of dishes and taking people to school and doing everyone’s laundry and trying to keep the toys picked up as well as my sanity in tact, but I’ll reach 31 posts eventually… hopefully by Thanksgiving :).) Click here to find those good reads!

My His Girls Together site is dedicated to encourage discipleship between girls and their moms or mentors. You can find a weekly devotional for girls to experience with their moms or mentors here. Feel free to pass it on to anyone who might be encouraged by it!

And if you’re a 31-Days reader, you can enter to win a $500 Dayspring shopping spree! Simply read a post by a 31-Days writer and click on her link to enter. You can find the link on my latest post here.

Last October, I wrote a series called “31 Days to Your Calling.” It’s a 31-Day journal opportunity to help you figure out what you’re on this earth to do and be… if that sounds like something you’d like to pursue, click here for the first post in that series.

That’s a lot of clicks for your Sunday! Whatever you pursue today, remember that you are loved by the One who created you and rest in that. He is pursuing you. You don’t have to do one more thing to make that real. Maybe you should just turn and let him catch you today. (No clicks necessary :).)

What’s new?

What’s new at your house? Chances are, if you’re like a lot of us, you’re starting a new school year. I love the start of a new school year for a whole bunch of reasons. Running a close second to freshly sharpened pencils (my clear #1 reason) is the chance to do things differently. Create new patterns, habits, routines, ways of doing the everyday.

Sometimes our everyday stuff needs a little fresh air. No better time than the early days of fall to open the doors and let a little something new in. My big kids started school a few weeks ago, but my littlest little just started preschool this week. I’ve got 2 mornings a week now of… quiet.

I’m excited to start new things with this little bit of time on my hands. Beginning a new class at the gym, discovering new parts of our city, making new friends. But while I’ve been lacing up my tennis shoes and sharpening my pencils, the Lord has been whispering something to me…

Behold, I am making all things new…

In his grace, Jesus wants in on my “new.” He wants me to experience him in new ways, he wants to show me new things. And he actually wants to make me new. Not just new schools and new routines, but a new… me. Jesus knows all about new. He creates new. I want in on that.

I’m encouraged to seek him in new ways. And I’ll encourage you to do the same. Pray out loud as you take a walk (it’s ok, people will think you’re talking on the phone). Carry your journal in the car to write down what you’re hearing him say. Take your Bible outside. Turn the music up loud, or off. Download an audio Bible on your phone. Ask him for new ideas: “Jesus, how can I experience you in a new way?” I think he’ll really like that question.

Being in the middle of “new” is a great place to be. Want to join me in doing new things? What ideas do you have on seeking Jesus in new ways?

To join the conversation here at kitchenstool, click on the comment bubble in the lower right-hand corner of this post. If you’d like to follow kitchenstool, I’d love to visit with you regularly. Click on the plus sign at the bottom center of this post and enter your email address. Blessings to you!