I’ve been tricking myself lately into believing that I don’t need Jesus. You might not know it to look at me… I’ve been reading the Bible a little bit in the morning, praying as I work through the tasks of the day… business as usual. But I know my heart has not been seeking or searching or yearning for the Lord like it could be.
The past couple of weeks has changed all that, though.
Week before last on a Thursday, I finally had my 3-year-old down for a nap. Just as I was about to sit down with my lunch and a good book, I received a call from DCS. Would we be willing to accept a little 7-month-old baby boy who needs a home for a while? I listened to his story and knew that the details resonated with what we feel called to as a foster family. I said yes, yes we are absolutely willing to take him. And so by 6pm this little guy was carried into our home.
Suddenly I knew that the flimsy life raft I was floating on was not going to sustain me. That good lunch and interesting book were not going to be enough to get me through the day. I needed more. A whole lot more.
I need Jesus.
Of course I have needed him all along, but I had fooled myself into thinking that lesser gods (like food and books and the hope of a relaxing summer) would do the trick and keep me afloat. They seemed to be working until the waters got deeper. Then I started to sink. I cried out to Jesus, and he graciously answered me, as he says he always will.
Stepping into the pages of this little guy’s story is going to take a lot of trust. A lot of courage and a lot of perseverance. I don’t manufacture these things on my own. I will need Jesus and the hope of his gospel in a really big way, every day.
Maybe when the big waves hit they are really evidence of God’s grace. He uses them to remind us that we can’t swim alone, that we can’t survive without him. No matter where this baby’s story leads us, I am grateful for the reminder that I need Jesus. Every day.
What about you? Are you swimming along by yourself? Or are you aware of how much you need Jesus today?