An Ungrateful Heart

Wow, I’m not sure what happened to February. I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’ve been neglecting some important things lately… reading and writing being near the top of that list. Even with those persistent nagging thoughts, I was still surprised a few minutes ago to login into my blog and realize that it’s been almost a month since I lasted posted anything.

What in the world have I been doing?

I blame my negligence on a variety of excuses. February dreariness has gotten me down. Potty training is taking too much time (Hilarious. I just had to go clean up another accident right after I wrote that sentence). I am under the pile of foster care paperwork. The dog hair on the floor won’t go away. I didn’t like turning 40 last week. I don’t have enough… you guessed it… time.

But, honestly, I don’t think any of those things have been the real problem. My real problem is that I have been suffering from an ungrateful heart.

I don’t know what your ungrateful heart acts like, but mine sees what I don’t have, completely overlooking what I do have. My ungrateful heart focuses on what my kids aren’t doing rather than what they are doing. My ungratefulness also has the annoying tendency to worry about the future rather than celebrating the present.

Ungratefulness, for me, clogs the drain. Good things can’t come in and bad things don’t drain out. That’s what I’ve been this February: a clogged drain. I haven’t been learning anything new from the Lord because my ungrateful heart has prevented it. I haven’t let sin drain away because my ungrateful heart has prevented that, too.

So, I guess that’s why I haven’t been writing. I haven’t had anything to write about. Clogged drains don’t make for interesting reading.

God, in his kindness, leads me to repentance again and again. Even in my clogginess, God gently points out my error. He kindly leads me back to him through his generous gospel. I am now thinking of repentance like Drano… not to push the metaphor too far, but there you go.

What has February been like for you? Any other clogged drains out there?


5 thoughts on “An Ungrateful Heart

  1. I missed February as well. What was I doing? It certainly wasn’t cleaning my house! I’ve been going to work in the morning this week instead of the afternoon. I had forgotten how hard it is to get everyone out the door – everyone being me and my dogs. No leisurely walks to do their business – and some things you just can’t rush. So I miss my “spiritual unclogging” as a result. It doesn’t change how God feels about me,- but distracts me from focusing on him. So the moral of this story is “keep the pipeline open daily” and that goes for my dogs too! .

  2. What a perfect analogy – I’ve been cloggy lately too. Am finally feeling the ‘drano’ of gratitude, after almost 3 months of the winter-clogged-blues. So strange how we can miss the gifts of the present, while in the thick of worries about the future, and regrets about the past.
    There is a time for mourning…and a time for gladness.
    Grateful to be seeing a glimmer of glad at the end of the tunnel (or clogged drain!!).

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