Wow, I’m not sure what happened to February. I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’ve been neglecting some important things lately… reading and writing being near the top of that list. Even with those persistent nagging thoughts, I was still surprised a few minutes ago to login into my blog and realize that it’s been almost a month since I lasted posted anything.
What in the world have I been doing?
I blame my negligence on a variety of excuses. February dreariness has gotten me down. Potty training is taking too much time (Hilarious. I just had to go clean up another accident right after I wrote that sentence). I am under the pile of foster care paperwork. The dog hair on the floor won’t go away. I didn’t like turning 40 last week. I don’t have enough… you guessed it… time.
But, honestly, I don’t think any of those things have been the real problem. My real problem is that I have been suffering from an ungrateful heart.
I don’t know what your ungrateful heart acts like, but mine sees what I don’t have, completely overlooking what I do have. My ungrateful heart focuses on what my kids aren’t doing rather than what they are doing. My ungratefulness also has the annoying tendency to worry about the future rather than celebrating the present.
Ungratefulness, for me, clogs the drain. Good things can’t come in and bad things don’t drain out. That’s what I’ve been this February: a clogged drain. I haven’t been learning anything new from the Lord because my ungrateful heart has prevented it. I haven’t let sin drain away because my ungrateful heart has prevented that, too.
So, I guess that’s why I haven’t been writing. I haven’t had anything to write about. Clogged drains don’t make for interesting reading.
God, in his kindness, leads me to repentance again and again. Even in my clogginess, God gently points out my error. He kindly leads me back to him through his generous gospel. I am now thinking of repentance like Drano… not to push the metaphor too far, but there you go.
What has February been like for you? Any other clogged drains out there?